Excellent question. And best answered via a super sexy interperative dance about class war, consumerism, totchos, and the fleeting triumph of love. 

But the short answer is: "We're not dicks."

Yeah, we know what we like... but more than anything want to get you on what YOU need.   

And the long answer is: If you could milk passion out of the ether and mold it in to everything you wanted a shop to be, that would probably be us or something. Ok, we just made that up. The point is that we're passionate about what we do, and that bleeds into everything we touch. But not in a gross way. Maybe a little. IDK. What?




Title: Master Blaster!
Rides: Mostly junk miles. Mostly.
Eats: The rich.
Drinks: At least two heart-healthy bottles of wine a night
Says: "I'm out."
Likes: Ed Abbey. Gravel. Bags on bikes. That one girl.
Dislikes: Suffocating routine. Suburban ennui. Gravel. That one guy.

Title: 2015 Greenway Champion...of the world, Craig.
Rides: A fine line. But mostly road and mtb.
Eats: The stuff crammed in the back of the staff refrigerator.
Drinks: Fire water and Topo Chico
Says: "So, the shop that I worked at in California/Oregon/Washington..."
Likes: Sleeveless t-shirts, custom steel, investment cast lugs, cats, tall trees, Abbey Tools, vast expanses, pew pew.
Dislikes: Sleeveless cycling jerseys. Sweaty triathlon bikes. Dog shit on the tires. Haters.

Title: Mama Duck
Rides: Circles around you, kids.
Eats: Whatever it is, the whole shop smells like it now.
Drinks: Them spritzer things.
Says: "Y'all ain't right."
Likes: Christmas lights. When Watts turns off his devil music.
Dislikes: Watts' devil music. Gluing tubulars. Spiders living in bikes.

Hippie Paul
Title: FNG (relatively speaking)
Rides: Shit he finds in dumpsters, I swear to god.
Eats: Again... Shit he finds in dumpsters, I swear to god.
Drinks: What? He's old enough to drink. He is.
Says: Hokay.
Likes: Techno. Free things. Twister, starring Bill Paxton.
Dislikes: When people treat their bikes like shit. Ayn Rand. Mitch McConnell. Introspection.

Title: Lil' Dorrit.
Rides: (laughs and cracks a dirty joke)
Eats: Mostly chips and crisps. Mostly.
Drinks: Like a goddamn fishy fish.
Says: "Hiya!"
Likes: Haggis. Bangers and mash. Neeps and tatties.
Dislikes: This mom jean trend. Suburbia.

Title: Superfreak
Rides: Watts' pillow when he's at work, according to new evidence.
Eats: Chow. Whatever you just dropped. Panties.
Drinks: Water...out of an UNFLUSHED TOILET!!!
Says: Bad things. Very bad things.
Likes: Licking feet and legs with his nasty ass breath. Women's underwear.
Dislikes: That little dog across the street. Men with beards. Men without beards. Men.

Title: Kwisatz Haderach
Rides: Giant Sandworms
Eats: The Spice
Drinks: The Water of Life
Likes: Fremen
Dislikes: Harkonens